another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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