She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
