I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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