is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
