STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
