Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
