Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
