i permit you to call me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
