We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
