yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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