Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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