You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
