So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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