when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
