thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
