Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize