So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
