I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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