This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
