Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
