i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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