That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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