Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
