I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
