I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
