So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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