what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
