words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
