hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
