I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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