was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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