i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
