he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
