its not stalking. its research.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
