I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
