so explain again why im purple
no
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
