you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
