Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
