There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
