Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You have to summon your inner elephant
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
