dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
