This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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