Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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