Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize