Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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