we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize