working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
