I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
