I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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