BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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