Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well you can't waste a boner
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
