At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
