I love black thongs
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
