Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize