I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm having to shit out rocks
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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