Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
