I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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