Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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