Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
