So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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