found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
