I don't think brook has ever known best
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
