No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
