If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
