You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
