Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
