How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize