omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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