I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize