worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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