You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
