Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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