piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize