I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
