grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
